I refused to worship God because I was immersed in worshipping myself and admired the flash of light that began to flash in my mind with the opening of consciousness and the beginning of the awakening from the cradle of childhood.
This psychological state was behind the controversial scene that recurs every day. I also missed the origins of logic and I am dealing with logic and I did not realize that I am contradicting myself as I recognize the Creator and then say who created the Creator and make him a creature at the time when I call him a creator, which is sophistry itself.
Moreover, to say a first cause of existence requires that this cause must exist in itself and not dependent or need others to exist. If a cause needs a cause, this makes it one of the causal links and does not make it a first cause.