Description
Existence has given me so much, or at least I knew how to receive so much from it. At this moment, as in my days of bliss, and for entirely different reasons, it seems to me that it has nothing more to give me. I am not certain that I no longer have anything to learn from it and will heed its hidden teachings to the end. All my life, I have trusted in the wisdom of my body and tried to taste with discernment the sensations this friend offered me: and I must also appreciate the end of them. I do not reject this death that is destined for me, this end slowly prepared in the workings of my arteries. It may have been inherited from an ancestor, or resulted from my own temper, or gradually prepared by everything I have done throughout my life. The hour of impulsiveness has passed, and despair, in my present state, may be as bad as hope. I have given up hastening my death.
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